Calamari Wrestler Review
Ah, the sports movie. It is a right of passage in every young man's life. Yes, they are all basically the same and yes they all follow a virtually identical plot arc. But nevertheless I sincerely doubt there is a single breathing male out there who does not have a serious bond to at least one of these things. Slapshot? The Natural? Bull Durham? Round these parts Major League has become a regular ritual amongst a certain circle of friends. While The Calamari Wrestler may not break any new ground in terms of plot – the basic cycle is as by the book as is humanly possible – the hero, at least, is the most unique you will ever see. This, my friends, is the touching story of a wrestling giant squid.
The story opens in a noisy arena. It is the championship match for the Japanese Pro Wrestling belt and although it is a fantastic match the arena is only half full. As the match winds to its climatic conclusion Koji Taguchi emerges victorious and is presented his long sought after championship belt only to be knocked to the ground and have it taken from him by an unannounced and unexpected competitor: a giant squid! Taguchi engages the squid in battle but is soundly defeated. Although this was not an endorsed bout and Taguchi retains his championship belt he has been publicly shamed and thirsts for revenge … and the squid? Many find something strangely familiar in his assortment of moves …
Let's lay this right up front. The Calamari Wrestler is not a 'good' movie by any stretch. It is, however, a very fun one. Yes, it is a one trick pony and the film has a tendency to drag when it gets outside the ring but in the ring – whether squid on man, squid on octopus or squid on squilla – it's a blast. Any film that gives a ring announcer an excuse to shout out lines like “Joint locks don't work on an invertebrate! He's too slippery!” is, frankly, okay by me. The people who made this bizarre little film clearly had a blast doing so – actors are frequently caught on camera struggling to maintain their composure – and that energy leaks through.
The film itself is, surprisingly, not as low rent as you might think. Oh, sure, it's not going to win an Oscar for effects or anything and the squid suit, with human legs clearly visible out the bottom, is clearly intended to be played for laughs but the suit is also strangely expressive thanks to some solid facial pupetteering. Pathfinder's R1 DVD release is solid. The film gets an anamorphic transfer, a little bit grainy but I believe that's an issue with the source more than the transfer itself. You get the original Japanese audio with optional English subtitles. The subs read well and are nice and clear. You also get a making of featurette and a music video. Yep, squiddy goodness with a beat.
By plot it's entirely paint by numbers. You've got your brash young upstart with the troubled past, the romantic interest, the rise in popularity and public support, the early success and rise to riches followed by complacency followed by the extended training sequence and grand triumph of the spirit. There's nothing here you haven't seen countless times before it's just that in this case it all revolves around a cephalopod. Best sports movie ever? Nope. Best giant wrestling squid movie ever? You bet.
